Is it's acceptable to hate your significant other for getting to go to work when you cant?
My husband, I'm post this photo so I can remember what he looks like
“In these stressful unknowing times that our world faces, my husband found bachelorhood.”
Essential Worker or Man of Freedom
Essential Worker or Man of Freedom
Today marks another beautiful day where I wake up to the crisp morning air as my alarm rings through the room. I get up, take my shower, get dressed and jump in my vehicle and head to another peaceful day at work. No kids, no mess, no mayhem. Just me the open road and the world. Wait that doesn't sound right. Why is that? Oh ya that’s my husbands life not mine!! I got woken up this morning covered in pee from a 3 year old only to get cleaned up and get puked on by his twin brother an hour later. My day consists of "home school," I use that term lightly, it's more like the hours of dread and torture, cleaning, cooking, and whining. OMG the whining. I know, I know there are people out there that do this all the time right. Well if your a stay at home mom, did you homeschool and did you also never leave your house? Were you locked down with these should I say, "Precious miracles?" If you answered yes to all of the above then congrats to you, "Mother of the year,” I AM NOT YOU!!
I think it is only natural that we all long for human interaction. As much as we might love the little people running around the house there is only so much intellectual conversation you’re going to get out of a 9 year old. Don't even bother with the teenagers, you’re better off repeatedly banging your head against a wall. So where is my husband in all this one might ask. Isn't this is a time to band together, be a team, be each others rock? Can you believe that lucky SOB has an essential job. So I've been abandoned, deserted, lead out to sea to drown all on my own. Sure I guess I should be grateful he's still working, I mean I should be, right? I just don't have time for that with all the effort I spend resenting him.
My husband is a truck driver which means he works 12 hours a day and it also means he's up and down the highway town to town possibly contaminating himself every step of the way. One thing is clear, I'm not locking myself in a house with these life sucking vultures for nothing just so that free spirit gets to leave the house and live his life as an, "Essential worker," then bring home this world dreaded virus. No ma'am, so I made the only reasonable decision I could think of at the time and kicked my husband out to the travel trailer until further notice. I was so proud of the rational resolution I made and even prouder that my level headed husband agreed that this was the best choice for our family. In fact in all the years we have been together I believe this was the first time we so easily agreed on something so quickly. What a man who really loves his family to endure such a sacrifice of isolation for us.
Last night I made my poor, lonely, sacrificing husband his plate of dinner and an extra large piece of cake, after all look at all he has offered to do for us. I knock on the trailer door. No answer. I knock again, louder. No answer. I can hear the tv blasting from the back bedroom. I open the trailer door, go inside, and walk back to a closed door. There is my husband sprawled out in his underwear watching some comedy movie on tv laughing it up. It was that moment it dawned on me I quite literally just gave my husband, the only other adult I can have a face to face conversation with, the one person that could give me a break from these crazed life draining kids, without even thinking I unintentionally very naively gave him back his complete bachelorhood. His selfless act, not so selfless after all, as it turns out. Not only does he get out of the house all day long he now gets to come home to a quiet space, no kids no mess to clean, strip to his underwear and watch whatever tv program he wants.
Do you have any idea how many times I have seen Boss Baby!!! I have the PJ Mask opening song running through my head at all points of the day. I have cleaned the same mess 14 times today, I cried my way through, "math class,” locked myself in my bathroom 3 times before noon in self induced time outs, talked a 9 year old out of a full blown melt down just in time to have one of my own and then I made dinner only to be told they want frozen burritos instead. Finally a moment to sit and relax only to be out voted with the nightly tv programing so it’s cartoons again.
So am I justified in hating my husband with his "Essential job?” Frankly I don't care if my hate seems childish and a bit whiny, so be it. After this last month I'm not sure I have a sane mature bone left in my body. If anything, I believe I have earned this chip on my shoulder. This is a grudge that will leave a bitterness that will no doubt out live this present quarantine.
I'll be back tomorrow with more family drama. Until then I'm signing off one Crazy Mad Mama!