"Back to the real world, ready or not here I come!"
Well it’s about that time. In just a few short days I will be back to work full time. Well when I say full time I mean same hours, half the amount of clients, with all the new rules that is. Not just because I need adequate time to sterilize everything between people but because let's get real, if I don’t get several breaks from having to wear an oxygen reducing mask, it’s very possible I will pass out on someones face. I feel I should clarify, I do skin care . My concerns, I have made quite a life for myself with Netflix and popsicles, how will that translate into going back to the real world? I know it may seem minuscule but I have become quite accustomed to, from the hours of wake and go to sleep with back to back episodes of every show ever made. I’m very into the documentaries. I have watched Hilary, Obamas, even Kennedy's. So it’s not all brain rotting garbage. I’m learning things. One thing is clear, I’m glad this whole home school is over. It should literally be a crime for me to teach my children. Example, my 9 year old came to me the other day. I don’t remember how it was brought up but something about Obama. She says, “He’s dead.” I give her the um no child your definitely wrong kind of look and nod. She insists, “Yes mom he’s dead and we haven’t figured out who killed him yet." No, no my child he is very much alive. She is very insistent, “Mom you’re wrong, I know he’s not alive, he was shot.” Obama, I say, we are talking about Obama? “Yes mom,” she says, very angry with me that I don’t believe her. “We are still looking for his killer,” she adds. So I grab my phone to prove her wrong but also partly because I think this kid is pretty sure about her self. Did I miss something? Did Obama die? I know I have been out of the loop a bit but so has she. Guess what breaking news, mans alive and well. I can’t believe I doubted myself with a 9 year old. Then I realized, she’s been watching the documentaries with me. She obviously mixed up a couple of them. Here I think I’m doing a pretty decent job of teaching, ya lets skip the books today lets learn history, lets have netflix guide our curriculum today. We can throw in a little, “Madam Secretary” and “Space force,” just to mix it up a bit. I can see now that may not have been the best approach, academically speaking that is. Now to keep a kid quiet and occupied, definitely. I had to weigh my options, it was the best choice in the circumstance, at least that’s how I will explain her oddly inaccurate reports and total lack of all other educational skills to her teacher next year at parent conference. So back to work I go. I’m not sure why it is but the less responsibilities you have the lazier you get, at least for me anyways. I used to go to work all day, cleaned, laundry, made dinner, and helped with homework. Now I should have more time for those things, nope. House is a disaster, laundry piled and I don’t know if we have ever had more fast food in this family, well that and frozen burritos. You know anything the kids can just nuke themselves so I don’t have to get involved. Before this quarantine I was doing all kinds of projects on my house. Painting at every spare moment. I don’t think I picked up a brush a week after all this started. I have just become so dang lazy. Like right now I really have to pee. I’m not getting up, do you have any idea the energy I have to put forth to walk all the way down the hall through my bedroom through the closet to get to the bathroom? No not worth it, I'll give it a few, the feeling will pass. I can go through at least three or four cycles of that before I get to the point of no return. Hey if I leak along the way, no big deal, I have to walk back through the closet on my exit out. I have learned to capitalize on this kids home all day thing. If I need water I call a kid. If I need a meal, again just a haller away. Do they get mad when they have to come all the way in from their rooms to get me a glass of something to drink when I am sitting right next to the kitchen? Of course they do but hey for all the sacrifices I have made to my body and mind for these little tyrants I’d say I deserve a little waiting on. I even taught my youngest how to make my sugar free white chocolate breves. She’s got that machine down. I just have this feeling going back to work is going to take up so much energy. I’m no doubt going to have netflix withdraws. Yes I can watch when I get home but it won’t be the same. I wont get to watch a new show just seconds after it appears for the first time in the line up. Also will I even have time because with work comes all the rest. Cleaning, cooking, laundry. I just don’t know if I’m fully prepared for these things. I have adapted to a new form of lazy that I come to enjoy. The last three nights I’ve slept on my chair because it just didn’t seem worth it to get up and walk all the way to bed. Besides it really is the most obvious place to sleep. I fall asleep watching my program and I wake up to watching my program, no need for a bed. I just don’t know about this whole back to normal or the, “New normal,” whatever they are calling it. If this so called new normal doesn’t consist of little child people bringing me food and drink and some sort of entertainment streaming, then I don’t think I’m going to like it too much. I'll be back with more family drama. Until then I'm signing off one Crazy Mad Mama!