So we aren't exactly the Suzy homemaker we thought we were!

My daughter taking art class into her own hands

"We have all channeled our inner Cruella de Vil at one time or another. I just so happen to live in my de Vil skin full time now!"

Who's a perfect mom now?

My mom called me up, I answered the phone and she was cracking up laughing. So of course I start laughing with no idea at this root of our howling giggles. Why is it when someone’s laughing it’s so contagious? Any how she had just gotten off the phone with my sister. Let me just give you a little backstory on my sister. She is one of those mothers, you know the Mary Poppins type. The kind you seriously want to hate but justifiably can’t because she really is just, “Practically perfect in every way”. Her kids can get mad and purposely throw a gallon of milk all over the floor and it's like,“ Oh honey are you alright, did you get wet? You poor thing, let’s get you cleaned up and talk about it.” Ya she’s that type. Never said a cuss word, laughs at everything her kids do. Can you see me rolling my eyes as I type? Just perfect!! There are days I would like to “SupercalifragilisticexpeialiDROWNED her. No, no I’m joking I love my sister, besides, I just found out she’s not a fictional Disney character after all. As it turns out my sister is in fact a real human being. WHAT?! That brings me back to where I started.

Apparently this whole quarantine thing can bring out the MAD MAMA in anyone. She was sitting with her 2 uncooperative children struggling through another day of school work when her oldest had a total meltdown. Now mind you my sister has always handled these things well BUT my sister has a full time job and has never spent 24 hours a day 7 days a week with these,“ little angels,” and she certainly hasn’t had to be a full time teacher. As we are all learning, these are trying times. I can imagine the tension growing, papers throwing, voices flowing, tempers blowing. Ya it’s like Dr. Seuss up in here. It’s what happens when your playing pretend teacher all day long. Any how back on track, situation got heated and my enraged frustrated niece blows up,“ I HATE YOU MOM!” In that very moment enough was enough. Sweet perfect Miss Mary Poppins transformed like the hulk into Cruella de Vil. Her reply was not “honey, sweetheart, darling angel child, let’s sit down and talk about your feelings,”Oh no, her Stepford wife spell had finally been broken and the mad mama had been awakened. I can just imagine the blazing fire reflection burning in her eyes, the smoke fuming from her ears. I bet words never tasted so good as they exploded from my sisters pure, sweet, innocent, virgin mouth. “YOU KNOW WHAT, I HATE YOU TOO!”

I’m peeing myself Im laughing so hard, as much as I hate this whole locked at home thing with no end in sight I have to say it is so worth it. My sister finally lost her marbles like the rest of us. It just gives me hope, you know. I think of all my Facebook friends with their perfect photos of their beautiful children and superb life and I know they too lay in bed at night in the fetal position crying themselves to sleep. It’s unbelievable that something so little can take us down so hard. It’s not the Corona Virus we should be afraid of, it’s the miniature demons the government locked us up with. I find it humorous how we all went into this blind and ignorant. “I just love having this extra time with my kids. Isn’t this great all the family time together? We get to read and cuddle, isn’t it amazing experiencing your child learn new things? Yes we are all locked at home but look at the bright side of it we now get to spend all of this wonderful extra time with our kiddos, the silver lining to all of this.” Do we all remember foolishly saying such things? I would like to go back in time a few weeks and hit that naive ninny upside the head with the 50lb bag of flour I no longer have since my daughter dumped it on the floor to make snow angels in the kitchen.

So in short I hate my life, I hate my house, I hate my husband and yes I even hate my kids a bit too. I can say it and it’s ok because I now know I am not alone!!!

I’ll be back tomorrow with more family drama. Until then I’m signing off one crazy mad mama.

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© 2020 by Mad Mama.