Stay safe out there!!

As ready as I can be for the outside world

"Listen here doctor you have one important task, for god sakes alive keep on your mask!

Into the danger zone?

I have to confess I was well on my way to losing my mind about a week ago, then my daughter moved in with the boys. I had no idea how much sanity I still had left to lose. I am way past my prime of a rational individual. “What do you mean you want another banana, do you know how much work went into getting those precious yellow fruits?” For one I had to take a shower and get dressed and brush through my hair. Secondly I had to gear up with my protective outerwear. Mask, gloves, hat, boots, rain slicker, and hand sanitizer. Going into a store consists of completely scouring down a shopping cart then fighting people back out of my six feet space. Applying hand sanitizer after every item I pick up as well as after I sign my name to the credit card machine. When I get to the car I strip off my hazmat top layer, stick it all in a black plastic bag where it will go in my trunk and be transferred to the trash or wash machine when I get home. I then pull out my disinfectant wipes and wash down the door handles and interior just in case. Hand sanitizer again. Drive home wash my hands, wash down outside door knobs, pull everything out of the car, wash all the food and boxes down with disinfectant spray or soap. Then I wash my hands again, put everything away, wash down my counter tops, take another shower for a precaution as well as gargle a cup of salt water and drink six glasses of hot tea for the next hour. So you say you want another banana, just one more banana. “That’s it, go to your room!”

   Life as we knew it has definitely changed. Today I had to take my father in law to the Drs. office for a check up. I was pretty upset that the zoom appointment was canceled and I was told he had to come in. With all the isolation and uncertainty that comes with it I was now told I have to go into the war zone. Mind you we are a very small town with no known cases but still I was very guarded and felt very much under attack. We walked in and everyone was in masks and gloves. Tape on the floor for distance and everything seemed clean. The first thing they do is take your temperature. 98.3 ok good even though he did stand a little to close for my comfort to take that temperature. I didn’t touch any doors. I was told we could take a seat in the waiting area. I’ll stand thank you. I kept a distance and washed my 92 year old father in laws hands down with sanitizer every time he touched something. God help me, I could not keep him from touching everything. We get back in our room and I wiped everything down just in case and more hand sanitizer for us both. Then the Dr. comes in he walks over to my father-in-law, bends down to his face pulls his mask down and says, “I have to wear this but this is what I look like.” What? All the precautions and he pulls his mask off with his face only inches away. I can just imagine the spit flying from his mouth. The Dr. reassures us and says, “Don’t worry, my mask is only to protect you from me but I’m not sick so I don’t really need it,” and with that he takes it completely off.  I am 100% certain this doctor is trying to kill us. So many conspiracy theories out there. Is this just an attempt to thin the herd? Have I been tricked out of the protected confines of my home? This man has penetrated my fortress of social distance of a safe healthy cocoon that I so desperately have been trying to keep around my body. Although yes in the past life, sitting in front of a doctor as he talks with you, used to be normal.  As a matter of fact I used to feel a disconnect with doctors who spent the whole appointment typing at a computer. These are different times and I feel almost violated. How dare this doctor sit so close and talk to me. I want to yell, “Get back to your computer where you belong and for gods sake, put your mask back on.” I sigh, I still have to be polite so I just keep my mouth shut and I mean shut tight. No little spit droplets will be piercing through these lips today. I couldn’t get out of that place fast enough.

   So I scrubbed the door of the car, scrubbed the father-in-law, put him in the car, scrubbed myself, and got in the car. I then drove home, stripped and shower again and put my pj’s back on. I gargled salt water, and drank six glasses of hot tea in one hour. It’s just too much work going out into the word. I’m going to just stay put for awhile. These pj’s have a good four days left on them and I have now got my weeks worth of showers in. 

I'll be back tomorrow with more family drama. Until then I'm signing off one Crazy Mad Mama!   

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