My son & step sons reenactment of my mother-in-law and I having a civil conversation
"Need a long list of your shortcomings and flaws, don't hesitate to ask the always helpful in-laws!"
Is it considered premeditated if I send my mother-in-law out of lock down for a gallon of milk?
Picture this, you can no longer leave your home. You’re locked in with your children and your husband. Teenagers and toddlers control your every waking minute. Your days are filled with cleaning, cooking, and trying to homeschool. Even though you no longer go to work there somehow seems less time in the day to take a shower or even change your clothes not to mention running a brush through your hair. I know there are a huge majority of shut ins out there that can picture this very thing with no problem whatsoever. Now picture all of that and add your in-laws into the mix locked away from society isolated from the world, confined quarters for a month and a half with these in-laws.
I would love to say when this is all over that I am a magnificent daughter-in-law and I handled things with such compassion, love and kindness. That an award should be dedicated in my honor with how noble I came out of such difficult circumstances. The hero of my family keeping it all together, everyone happy, cherishing the memories of these days of family closeness.
However this is not the case, as a matter of fact I would say quite the opposite. I am not taking on this challenge with grace and ease. Hero of the,“Days of family,” no I am the villain of psycho crazy in these very dark days. There will be no ceremony of achievement in my honor. I may however get a chance to visit the psych department for a while when the dust has settled. Trust me if my family had connections they would have already had me transferred out of here.
My mother-in-law and I just had the biggest blowout yet of our complicated relationship. Over gardening of all things. Foolishly over something that neither one of us know anything about. We matched insult to insult, scream to scream, both insisting on the last word. This little loudmouth german lady grabbed her miniature plastic gardening shovel and headed in my direction. I was completely ready to kung fu block her efforts. She thought better of this maybe a bit more mature than me in that moment. I thought for sure her egg carton crate of seedlings was going to be tossed at my head as she screamed out in almost indistinguishable broken english, “Do it all yourself.” Again she thought better of this and the seedlings were saved.
Our entire 10 minute encounter consisted of two crazy whacked out women screaming from across the driveway at each other like complete and total lunatic’s. My husband happened to be fixed directly between us with no place to run or hide but insightfully knowing better than to choose a side. The one thing I’m grateful for during this Quarantine is that I don’t have any neighbors. I couldn’t even imagine when all this is over the shame walk I would have to make to the mailbox after the neighbors have heard all of the madness coming out of this household.
So maybe I’m not the superhero mom, wife, and daughter-in-law. I can accept that. One thing is for certain, the next quarantine I will be doing a full family cleanse. I will be alone with a good book and my netflix and maybe a large supply of twinkies for nutrient purposes.
I'll be back tomorrow with more family drama. Until then I'm signing off one Crazy Mad Mama!